Yep, I finally found a Twinkie. Regular readers/friends will know that I holidayed in Canada last year and spent most of my two weeks there trying to find one of the little buggers.
Let me take it back for you a little.
Ever since I was a kid I have known what a Twinkie is. I know that I’ve seen them in Ghostbusters, The Iron Giant, Die Hard, and the brilliant Monster Squad film. I bought thousands (literally) of American comics which were awash with adverts or references to those mainstay of US children’s diets. And, living in England, we don’t find them in every store or supermarket.
A Twinkie. Finally.
Ironically, once I’d returned from Canada I found an American sweet shop in Southampton and stopped off there late one night.
They had sold out of fucking Twinkies.
“But we do usually stock them,” said the guy behind the counter.
Luckily, my friends James Drake and Em-J had spotted some of the elusive golden little bastards at Phil’s Diner in Newport, so (eventually) I managed to get hold of a couple – one for me and one for my daughter who ate it straight away. And was not impressed at all.
A bad omen?
I held off eating mine there and then, as I feel the world needs to know what happens when I finally get round to trying it. I know y’all have been on tenterhooks waiting for me to finally get one… well, judging by all the Facebook comments I get when I bemoan having never eaten one I’m assuming you do!
So… here goes… (I’m really looking forward to this – the smell is making my stomach growl!)…
Chow down, tubby.
*nom nom nom*
Y’know what? That was pretty good! Not sure it was worth the 25+ year wait, however.
Still, for £1.50/$3 I’ve finally laid that ghost to rest. I can see why the suckers are so big in the US.
But I think Tallahassee’s quest for one in Zombieland might have been a little over the top.
Now, if I can just figure out what the fuck a corn dog is I’ll be able to die with my life’s ambitions fulfilled.
Oh, as long as I can also wash it down with Mountain Dew…
Jody Neil Ruth 
A few comments…
I love how ‘Anal’ is circled on your notebook (in the picture).
The Twinkie wrapper doesn’t look like a Hostess Twinkie wrapper (the original Twinkie) so I’m wondering if it’s a knock-off…?
You don’t know what a corn dog is? Now that’s something I can’t mail.
You don’t have Mountain Dew in the UK?
I was supposed to give you your first Twinkie experience. Uh… that came out all wrong. But HET, I think you know what I mean. x
Kinda laughing and cringing at the ‘anal’ slip-up 😉 It seems to be written on everything I own!
Yep,. the wrapper was plain, but the lady insisted it was genuine, but I can’t promise it…
And you CAN still give me my first Twinkie experience… 😉 x
Mate you still continue to crease me up with these posts …. I too spotted the ‘anal gaffe’ (which is not, btw, a device for catching anal from a moving ship) and wondered if that was deliberate – if it was accidental that makes it twice as funny!! But not as funny as the second picture, which looks like you just got surprised in a homosexual glory-hole encounter.
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