Halfway mark in the Coldplay tour and we have a 10 day break after 2 shows in Cardiff. It can be a real eye-opener for foreigners working it. As one tech guy said, “Britain is the only place where the customers turn up already drunk for the show, and cause us problems”.
Rule Brittania.
Cardiff was OK. Friendly people, a nice castle right by the stadium, and a lot of shops. I sneaked in to use the rugby club’s gym, and was surprised to find the lowest weights they used were 20kg ones. Needless to say, I ached for 4 days afterwards. Now I needed a break.
But the break also means a 10 day gap for my French girl and me. I cannot get a read on her. It won’t surprise anyone to learn that I very much wear my heart on my sleeve, but she is a completely closed book. So much so, that sometimes I back off, unwilling to unburden my crazy on her.
But, of course, I’m not a train wreck, but more like the aftermath of a train wreck; trying to get the engine back on the track, re-rail myself, see if I can get enough steam up to carry on with my life. But she’s fighting her own battles, and I give her as much space as i can, although we do spend a lot of time together.
I told her all this. Of course I did. I can’t hold things in when they get on top of me. She said she was sorry that she was like this, but I told her I didn’t want an apology. I just wanted something from her. Anything. The smallest of signs that maybe she feels more for me than she let’s on.
Instead we carried on. We watch TV. We go for walks. She is, as everyone describes her, “cool“, and I’m about as composed as a bag of smashed crabs. But I give her room and time, and I get lost in my thoughts. I think about her more than I think about anyone else.
On our last day together we walked through Cardiff, stopped at a bar down a side street, away from everyone, to be alone. She ordered a ginger beer and I had a coke. The clientele around us were Welsh and drunk and pleasant. Everyone was wearing a Coldplay t-shirt or top.
“I’m really going to miss you,” she said, totally catching me by surprise.
“That’s all I needed,” I said, unable to hide my smile.
Jody Neil Ruth 
Please be careful, rushing in after the last one. I see it around me all the time. I left my narcissistic ass hole bully boy over 18 months ago and I can’t think of anything worse than letting someone into my life,my home again. You say that your new belle has her own demons!!!
Just be careful be safe & here if you need an ear.xx
Just stay, Be it a short while, a year, a lifetime. My guess, she has lived through trauma herself, so just sit with her a while, let her see that your heart is on your sleeve, keep speaking your truth, not past or future but present, lead by example slowly so you too are protected.
This is what happened to me…..
When she looked, really looked
She couldn’t actually put her finger on the moment but
She knew without questioning, without a doubt, she saw.
The thunder had rumbled for so long now
With the storm over
the silence was deafening.
No longer a necessity just reality
Her here and now
And again she looked, really looked
Saw with clarity
Traced her finger over the lines
Fascinated with her faceted reflection
The connections vivid
Fragments of vulnerability surfacing
Touching, bonding
Remembering herself
And finally it was okay
It was all okay
She laid down her survival tools
The final gauntlet
Weightless, unencumbered
Her essence, her core, bared
Then she turned and walked to
Where he stood
Put her hands in his
And smiled
She would never put her finger on the actual moment
but as the sunlight hit her face for the first time today
she shone with that effortless brilliance.
Their once tentative steps had long ago turned to strides
And finally she dared to look back as the last of her defences crumbled
The armoured promises broken
By his relentless conviction
And it was okay now
Okay to love him,
Love him how he should be loved,
And let him love her in return
Because finally okay was all she needed
Don’t miss the best person that happened to you because of what has gone. There is only one way and that is forward.
H, that’s beautiful ♥️ and ill take the advice as far as I can take it!
Thank you for these words x
Just go at your pace and don’t have expectations, life is what it is, wishing, hoping and praying(hmm) ain’t gonna change none a that sh*t show.😂