I’ll start by writing thank you for all your concern, but I am feeling much better. Those close to me who said a total lack of contact would help me, were right. It really wasn’t very easy to begin with, but now, being almost two weeks removed from the mess, I can see how stupid I was to have let things escalate. But I still miss her.

The tour with Macklemore rolls on, but my stint on it finishes tomorrow. The audio equipment I carry isn’t needed for the forthcoming venues, so I’ll return to England, unload, go home for a few days to wind down. Then it’s back on a much bigger tour, which I’ll be able to disclose in just over a week.

I’m currently in Warsaw, Poland. The people here are great; the guys are all lean, muscled, or huge, having arm wrestling contests in between unloading trucks. There is one massive guy who’s chest is literally like a barrel, and when he dispatched with his latest victim, I stepped forward, patted my own guns and asked for a contest with him!

He laughed.

They all laughed.

Over the last 9 days we’ve weaved backwards and forwards, up and down across Germany: Berlin, Cologne (pronounced Ko-el-nn), Munich, Offenbach, and Hamburg, before we hit Poland.

And Polish women are especially beautiful. I asked my companion on the tour, Dan, why he thought that was. His theory is, that in comparison to western European women, Polish women work much harder than our “lazy, flabby, local birds”. Good luck trying to have sex back in England after that one, Dan Higgins, 28, of the Isle of Wight.

Gotta admit, as in my last blog, I’ve had some pretty bad struggles of late, but in every city, at each show, people smile and talk with me and make me feel better every day, and I’m running with a good bunch of guys and crew. At one stage I thought I’d be better at home, but I see that’s wrong now. It’s better to be dragged through the pain by decent people instead of sitting at home lost in my own head.

Again, thank you for all your concern. I had a crazy amount of messages and support. I always forget the impact my writing has, because so often I’m lost in the words and the moment that I forget there are a lot of people who are also struggling through life.

If you’re one of them, I feel you.

Keep on going.


3 thoughts on “Seventeen.

  1. Hey Jody, I know that I’m just one of many but I always think of you as a fellow ‘survivor and you always looked out for my boys when most would have bought them a one way ticket to anywhere.
    I was so chuffed when I saw the photos of you together on face book that picture perfect place where you can live your best life. Then absolutely gutted when I read the reality, but life deals out lessons good and bad but that’s what they are if you learn from them. Move forward now and some wise words from someone who knows, be grateful, you were lucky. Grateful that you escaped before the abuser victim bond became unbreakable because once that happens all that time and effort that you put into you is lost, that self worth, that belief that every quirky, crazy, creative, fucked up, intelligent, eloquent, diverse, imaginative part that makes you who you are is gone. Replaced by the consuming belief that you are worthless. Right now you may still be in love with what was you as a couple but pretty soon hindsight will start to point out the red flags, the times when for a fleeting second you questioned her. Learn from them and please please don’t give up, don’t close your heart because if you do you may miss out on the best thing that ever happens to you. Not that head over heels, all singing all dancing kind of love but the quiet unassuming one that you never see coming, the one that walks beside you shoulder to shoulder, the one that makes you create the best version of you. Your number one fan, who holds your hand when life is shit and doesn’t let go even when they can’t help in any other way but holding your hand. The one that stays.

    It’s real, I know.

    • H, this blew me away. I love these words, and when I’m ready I’ll return to them, study them, and use rhem.

      I hope your boys are OK. They never did me wrong and I liked them. I hope you’re well, and I hope we will all be well and ready when we’re ready ♥️

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s