Kay’s Euology

(Written and read by Zoe at Kay’s funeral service at St Leodagar’s Church, Hunston, on June 23rd 2021.)

“We’re all here today to celebrate my lovely sister, Kay.  We all have our own memories and love for her.  Today I want to share some of mine with you.

My big sister Kay…

Kay was the middle child of Don and Lin, born in Canvey Island 42 years ago. Jody was born 2 years previously and I followed a year after Kay.  The three of us had a strong 1 of 3 identity. We were relentless in our teasing and one upmanship of each other, always quick to point out who was our parents’ favourite child, who got the best present and who’s card to our parents made it pride of place on top of the television and when each other was not looking, these cards were regularly moved around to prime position. 

As a small child Kay spoke pouncing her words with a ‘d’. This is how her nickname ‘Day’ started and developed to Dayo. Mum recalls Kay would hop and skip everywhere often causing her bumps and falls. Attributes she definitely grew out of.

In 1986 we left Norfolk to move to the Isle of Wight. We had a very happy childhood and spent much time together skidding across the polished floor of the shop we lived in, or playing swords with the rolls of wrapping paper for sale. We spent a lot of time with our cousins, Nicola and Stacey, we performed many dreadful plays. Kay also spent a lot of time at Nan and Grandad Ruth’s, sailing and generally escaping me and Jody!

Kay loved Take That and I mean first time round. She would rip their posters out of magazines and lay them flat in piles. Every now and then she would lay them out across the floor, carefully laying them on her side of the room – my side was a clear no go zone. Kay and I loved the film Dirty Dancing, I believe we had a ‘pirate’ copy – remember them, we would recreate the lift with the sofa as a safety net. Of course I was always baby, I was the smallest.

In 1990 we moved from the shop we lived above to a little village called St Helens, a childhood friend contacted me this week to say he will never forget the day us 3 turned up! We were clearly a handful!

Kay always wanted to be a lawyer, after leaving school she got a job as an officer junior at Roach Pittis in Newport on the Island, where she would drive her prized sky blue Blue Fiesta. This started as a passion for Kay, she became an original Girl Racer. One year she decorated her XR3i with Christmas decorations, resulting in being pulled over by the Police. This is probably time to remind you all how much Kay loved Christmas, every year earlier and earlier her decorations would go up. The brighter – the better!

I’m sure you all see Kay as organised and responsible, which she was. But those who know of Kay in her 20’s will tell you she loved to party and she could drink most of her friends under the table! It was one such night, she bumped into Steve in a local pub, the Bow Bars in Ryde I believe. The three of us knew Steve from years ago, with his long hair and quick wit. On the night Kay bumped into Steve again, he reminded her they had ‘gone out’ as teenagers, something Kay does not recall. Kay’s bad memory was legendary!!

Kay lived with our parents long after Jody and I left. Kay loved living with Mum and Dad, this made her a major contender in the favourite contest, as Dad told us regularly, whoever is closest is the favourite. She finally moved out into a little flat, 2 minutes away. Steve then joined her, they got married in October 2011 and moved to Nantwich and started their little family, firstly Ollie and followed quickly by Daphne.  

Kay had a sixth sense, she would always call us when we were eating, sleeping or walking out the door. It became funny. Along with her mispronunciations of words.. continued mainly as it caused much amusement to us. Words like Munster instead of Monster spring to mind.

Kay and Jody for a few years got into the swing of buying each other thoughtful birthday presents. Jody got Kay tickets to see Des O’Connor, which I belive she did enjoy. Kay got Jody tickets to learn to Salsa dance, much to the delight of the older ladies in those classes. Jody lined it up for Kay and Steve to read a terrible poem, under google it was listed as the worst poem in the world. Kay and Steve attended and read out the dreadful poem to a room packed with veterans, who were also glad of new faces. The best one must have been Jody’s present from Kay to learn to play the piano, which he then had the honour of playing as Kay walked down the aisle to be greeted by Steve on their wedding day.  

Kay was a good sport, she was kind, caring and funny. We spoke every day, about nothing, about everything. She was a brilliant Auntie, with her own special individual relationships with all her nieces and nephews. As a Mummy she would always have Ollie and Daph out bright and early, at the park or down the beach. Always doing.

I’ve learnt over the last few months how deeply she loved Steve and how deeply Steve loved her in return. I’ve also learnt how much I relied on her. How she was my sister and my dearest friend, she was pulling me on always.

I wear my tshirt today with pride. I will always be 1 of 3.

Please think of Kay often. I believe she is still here, in all of our hearts for always.”

All three of us wore our t-shirts at the funeral.
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