If you aren’t new to my writing, you’ll know that good mental health is something I preach, while bad mental health is something I succumb to…although hopefully not any time soon. Or ever again…please…
But others close to me are struggling, and I try to help them even though one of them pushes me away, while also trying to make sure i don’t descend into something I can’t control. But it’s tough for me, sitting in a truck stop for days, waiting for work, watching others slide into hell as I try to occupy myself. Although I have been on long walks while I’m here, but there’s only so much time I can waste while wasting time.
Truck drivers are very susceptible to mental health issues. It’s one of the top three occupations in which people can suffer. Long night drives lost in your own head can be cataclysmic for a mind. I got hit hard a few years back, and promised myself I’d protect my emotions better in future. I’m trying to keep that promise. I’m trying.
I wrote a few weeks ago that an old friend of mine had taken his life. We were the same age, had the same friends, same stupid humour, but he was a lot better looking! And now he’s gone and he’s someone I didn’t think it would happen to.
Suffering can happen to anyone, in any situation. Look out for each other. I say that, but I know some people don’t want to reveal their pain, their sorrow. But it’s not impossible to see the signs: bad sleep, lack of appetite…and you can see it in their eyes.
And I’m seeing these signs in those I love, and I’ll do all I can for them…all I can do while parked up out of the way, on my own. Alone.
I wanted this blog to be fun and interesting this year. I don’t want it to become something else. But I will not stop writing it.
Now I need to try and sleep.
Maybe I should’ve eaten today.
My eyes shine blue.