I don’t believe in fate, destiny, god, karma, or any other invisible force…not completely, but what I do look for in life are connections; connections between people that aren’t evident at first. When I meet someone that has an impact on me, I explore my life and see what decision I, or someone else had made, that bought me to that person.

For example, my French girl. If things had worked as they were supposed to this year, I would’ve been on Coldplay with my ex girlfriend, and probably would’ve just made friends with the French girl and her companions, and got on with my job.

Instead, I went through hell. The drunken destruction and willful pain thrown upon me shattered me more than I’d ever believed, so, going into Coldplay I was prepared to be on my own again for a long time.

But, while I was directing the French trucks into their spaces in Coimbra, Portugal, suddenly, this little French girl got out of a truck and walked over to me.

“Hi,” she said.

“Do you speak english?” I asked, knowing that some of the French drivers we’d worked with before could speak english about as well as I could speak French.

“A little,” she said.

We talked more as I waved trucks into place, and her little English turned out to be more than enough for us to be able to communicate. She was small and hot and her accent was driving me wild.

I had to keep my cool.

Whatever you do, don’t ask her if she’s married, I thought. You’ll only sound desperate and you’re in no place right n—

“Are you married?” I blurted out. I mean literally blurted out. And the second I had I regretted it because I knew I’d sounded like an idiot.

“No, its just me and my dog,” she said.

I looked at her. She looked at me.

“Do you want to go for a walk into the old town later?” I asked. “There’s no catering today but I know a few places we can go for some food.”

“OK, cool,” she said, and that was us for the next two months. And it was a good two months, but not without its problems.

When I say “problems,” I don’t mean arguing or falling out. Our problems stemmed from our previous relationships. They really held us back from becoming something more than we were, and, as I’ve written previously, my ex weighed in and shattered whatever it was I thought I had with the French girl.

“You are not ready for me,” she told me through her tears one night.

And she was right.

But, out of our failed romance came something better. We became friends. Good friends; laughing, hanging out, always checking on each other. She was worried when things went bad for me. I’ve had issues again lately, but she watched out for me, helped me. I know we will remain friends because I have friends just like her; friends who live in other parts of the world, but care about me a lot. I keep these friends in my heart, because they keep me in theirs.

Things could have been so different for me on this tour, but I’m happy I met her. I’m coming to terms with my brutal previous relationship, because without it, and without the pain and hopelessness it gave me, I wouldn’t have let my mouth take the chance of a shot with the French girl, and we wouldn’t have gone to a nightclub in Barcelona, a spa in Turin, explored all the places we had, and of course, watched several Coldplay shows together…although I’m not sure I can watch another show without her just yet.

Because I miss my French girl.

I miss Margaux.