Tag, You’re it!

Ok, I’m lazy. I’m gonna rip Kevin Crew‘s words, seeing as this is all his fault:

“Many of you will have realised by now that wherever the hint of a challenge lies, there also lies my interest in getting involved. So this weeks award for Fortuitously Timed Writers-Block Beating Inspiration falls squarely at the feet of Misty from Misty’s Laws, who has slapped me across the stubbly chops with the gauntlet of the Tag, You’re It challenge. The simple premise here is that the blogger answers a set of questions, then tags other bloggers in the hope they will take the challenge and pass it on to others themselves. As one of the list of bloggers victimised chosen lovingly by Misty, here follows that set of questions, and my own personal carefully considered responses….”

Onward and downwards:

1. Book or movie and why?

I’m a writer, so I am an avid reader… but I am also a massive film buff. However, when I do put films on these days, I’m still either reading or writing while the bloody thing is on the screen!

So, I’m going with book… no… movie… no.. no… book.

2. Real book or e-book?

Ahhh… now, 99% of the world will say paper book but if I didn’t have the Kindle on my iPhone I would read less than I do (which is a LOT, by the way). The beauty of having books in my pocket means that if a customer is held up on me (I’m a taxi-bus driver), then instead of sitting there with my dick in my hands, I can read instead.

Dick in my hands, eh…? Might start leaving my phone at home.

3. Funniest thing you’ve done in the last 5 years?

This has no relevance to anything.

One of my in-laws.

C’mon, read my other blogs. Start here.

4. Do you put yourself into the books you read/write or the movies you watch?

Y’know what… I don’t. I don’t think I ever have. I become so engrossed, at times, with what I’m watching/reading that I can see it from the perspective of the lead character.

Which is the whole point, right?

I wouldn’t want to write a story about a brow-beaten cop, struggling against zombies, and if a 19 year old girl picked it up, I’d hope she wasn’t reading it from her point of view!

Nb: I am writing a story about a brow-beaten cop fighting zombies. And I do condone 19 year old girls. Heartily.

5. How would your best friend describe you?

Well, seeing as my own 16 year old daughter called me a ‘cunt’ on the phone yesterday I don’t even wanna know what my fucking friends think of me. We could always ask Lee Richards. He’s one of those ‘friends’ who doesn’t let my head drop and tells me exactly how it is.

Painfully, at times.

6. Favorite kind of car and why? 

Yes. This be she.

Kev wrote about an E-Type Jaguar, and it is a gem. I used to have a 4 litre V8 S-Type which was a fucking rocket. I now have a Ford Focus ST in Ludicrous Orange (it is a colour… now). I like it because it is discrete.

Otherwise, I’ve always wanted a pimped out Range Rover… or a Dodge Charger. Or a decent Mustang muscle car.

7. Would your choice of party be a catered meal or barbecue out back?

Load it up with sluts and cocaine and I’ll have a party in a fucking broom cupboard.

8. What’s your favorite season and why?

Easy. Football season – either soccer or NFL. If we’re taking seasonal-season (?) then I’ve always been a bit partial to winter. I love how snow makes everything look much better. On the downside, all of the good-looking girls hibernate.

9. What specific lesson have you learned – Spiritual, educational, occupational?

Fuck off. The only lessons I am learning are piano lessons. I’m not spiritual, but I am nearing the end of an Open University course, so the educational one is in there somewhere.

I have learnt to not believe my own hype (seriously) as I walked into the Creative Writing

Idiots.

course thinking I’d smash it like a desperate housewife on a Wednesday morning. I was DESTROYED in one of my essays, and rightly so. Since then, I’ve upped my game and I concentrate on my writing and prose so much more.

As you can probably tell from this blog.

Right, fuckers?

10. Besides writing, what’s your favorite thing to do when you get some extra time?

I’d say ‘have sex’, but it’s been so long since I last did it that I think they might have changed it. Is it still as much fun?

Otherwise, it would be my playstation or hanging out with my five year-old boy as much as I can. In true Jode-style, he even tried to help me pick up a lady at a play park last week.

He kind of ruined it when he got fed up of me talking to her and snapped; “Dad, are you gonna ask her for her phone number or not, cos I wanna go to MacDonalds?”

I didn’t get the phone number.

But he did get his MacDonalds.

11. What’s one place you can be found at least one time every week?

In my bus, every day, writing those infamous facebook statuses. If you are one of the rare few who don’t know what I’m talking about, click the link down the right hand side and add me.

I might make you laugh.

********************************************************************************

Ok, I’m done. That clearly spiraled way out of control, but then Mr Crew knew it would happen which is why he recommended me.

Now, imma tag some folks. The first is Marni Mann – if only to completely counteract my stupidity. And also because I love her and she’s great.

The other is John Hardy Bell. We’re still on our race to see who gets their book published first.

Fuck it, anyone else that wants to join in, feel free. And if you’re one of the 100s of my readers who have never started a blog, then consider this your invite. Take the questions above, and colour me prose-ful.

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My Baby Has a Name

No, I haven’t knocked someone up. Again.

I’ve got a name for The Book

The Dead Outside

Yep, that’s it. That’s all this blog is about, but I can finally stop calling The Book, ‘The Book’, and now say ‘this is how far I’ve got with The Dead Outside’.

That is all.

[Quick update: Look what my glorious compadre Jason Tabrys just knocked up for me:]

With thanks to Jason Tabrys

Discipline. Or a staggering lack of…

If you’re new to my blog, then you may be surprised to learn that I have been lacking in discipline lately.

If you’re not new, or just plain know me, or have read about what I got up to just over a week ago, then you’re probably sat there with a raised eyebrow uttering the words; “In more shocking news, the earth is round.

So, the start of the month I wrote about knuckling down to NaNoWriMo (where I have to write 50k words of The Novel), hammering the Open University courses that I’m doing (Italian and Creative Writing), and generally just working hard.

I failed. Miserably.

I managed about 6,000 words of NaNoWriMo and I have 3 days left to rustle up 34,000 more. No one can do that. No one. But I am determined to have ALL those words written and ready for editing by the END OF THE YEAR.

I’m two weeks behind on the Italian course. I can claw that back. I’ve already transferred the CD to my iPhone and have been learning bits and pieces while at my ‘real’ job – driving a school bus.

I’m a week behind on the Creative Writing course. That isn’t a problem, as I smash that when I sit down to do it. In fact, I destroyed a weeks’ worth of coursework in one morning a couple of weeks back.

But, I’ve also let a few people down. Jay Tabrys has given me an opportunity to write for him and his www.welovecult.com and I’ve let him down, although technically I don’t start until 1st December. He’s the main reason I gotta get my shit together.

Marni Mann – always there, always encouraging me, always sticking by me. I owe her a book.

Anyway, I’m not gonna waffle on, but needless to say, I’m gonna pull my shit together and set things straight. No more drinking/partying/destroying cities until I’ve got things in order.

Oh, well except for London 16/17th December. Soulwaxmas party in Brixton. That’s gonna be my only big blow-out before New Year.

Promise.

NaNoWriMo and The Book Is Back!

Ok, let’s go back in time, to January, when I wrote THIS BLOG. Ok, now you’ve either rekindled your memory or learnt something new(ish) about me. Well, for the past ten months I have worked at it, but no where approaching the sort of time and effort that I should be giving to it.

So, allow me to introduce you to NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). This was an event started by Chris Baty back in 1999, where he and 20 others in San Francisco decided to spur each other on to write 50,000 words of a novel within a month. The following year, 140 participated… the next year 5,000. In 2010, over 200,000 took part. NaNoWriMo had taken the writing world by storm.

And now, I’m participating. The Book is getting new life breathed into it. I wanted to write 5,000 words a month, and so far I’ve rustled up 20,000. So, NaNoWriMo is going to supply me with 50,000 words which will make The Book almost complete. This could be the motive I need to get things back on track… although, as you may have recently discovered, I am to become a published writer…

But, I can’t rest on my laurels, I need to get all guns blazing, and the undead in my head need their story telling.

So, sit tight, and I’ll be updating my Twitter, Facebook, and WordPress accounts with my wordcounts all through November… as well as growing a moustache of epic proportions. November’s gonna be a helluva month.

And, if anyone is interested in taking part, Nicole Cook has written her own brilliant strategy on attempting NaNoWriMo. You can read her blog here. It’s well worth taking the time to check it out, and I shall be using her strategy myself!

Also, an honorary mention goes to my partner-in-crime, Marni Mann, who is going

The Delectable Marni

NaNoWriMo along with me, and with both our aims of 50k for our books, Marni should have all but finished the sequel to her first novel – Memoirs Aren’t Fairytales – which is due for release in December. And you will buy it. Please. She’s been a massive influence on my own writing and you really need to see what the mistress can do herself.

Ok, that’s all from me. I have to prepare for today. So far, I’ve shaved my face completely clean for the first time in almost/over 15 years, I started a Creative Writing course, and I also start an

Nicole Cook

Italian language course.

Oh, and some small thing called National Novel Writing Month.

Wish us all luck.

I Think I’m About To Do Something Really Stupid.

Regular readers/friends/followers will know that at the turn of the year I wrote a book about wanting to become a writer. It isn’t a faze or a new ‘thing’ I wanted to do, but it’s something I’ve been doing since before I could walk. Literally.

So, this year I ‘came out’. The Book is what most people ask me about when I bump into them, and I always answer ‘steadily’, or ‘slowly’, or a little of both, but – as I’ve written in previous blogs – I’m writing for so many other things The Book has kind of slid down my list of priorities at the moment.

For instance, I’ve submitted a short story about zombies for a book that’s being released soon, and I’ve been asked to submit another short story to a book based on H P Lovecraft‘s tales. If either/both of these get accepted I will have become a PUBLISHED AUTHOR!

And that’s all I’ve wanted all my life.

But, ‘life’ is getting in my way a lot these days. We’ve just had a crazy week at work (I drive a bus) due to the island being covered in rich, posh people for Cowes Week last week, and I hardly got a word written. The Lovecraft deadline is fast approaching and I’m halfway through the 7,000 words required.

So, every spare moment I have involved trying to get this short story finished, which means The Book hasn’t been touched in almost a month… and that kills me. I’m starting to hate myself when people ask me how it’s coming and I feel like I’m letting them and myself down when I explain that I’m writing other things. I feel like I’m cheating on The Book!

‘Work’ are also pressing me to take on more shifts, and then take into consideration the two Open University full time courses I start soon and The Book looks like it’s going to be unloved for a little while.

And I had fully expected to have finished it by Christmas!

I have to sort this out. I need my zombie tale to be my life again…

So, there’s only one thing I can think of doing.

Quit work. Quit driving for a living.

Yep, bin it all in and write, write, and write some more. I’ve worked out that I can get up early and get words onto paper/screen from 7am til 9am before eating breakfast, then attacking it all day until I exhaust myself!

Sure, I’ll be losing money, but someone (my boss, ironically!) told me that I should always chase my dreams, and my ONE BIG DREAM has always been to become a published author.

And surely that’s a dream I can achieve… surely it’s worth all the struggle.

So, basically, what I’m doing is throwing it out to you guys to see what you all think. I promise you that this decision has been completely on my mind for the last two weeks, and I’m so unsure as of what to do I figured I needed a little guidance.

Can you help me out?

Stylish Blogger Award

This week I was nominated for the Stylish Blogger Award by my good friend and partner-in-crime, Marni Mann.  The aim for the award is to recognise those who blog and blog well, with a good layout and humorous/interesting/factual blogs. I’m not sure which one of these things Marni has recognised in my dumb ass, but thanks anyway, Marni!

Marni’s awesome, and we’re all just waiting on the publication of her forthcoming book Memoirs Aren’t Fairytales – a book about addiction. You can find out more on her website and twitter accounts. Or just hang around twitter and watch us flirt outrageously despite the 4000+ miles between us…

Ok, here are the rules to the Stylish Blogger Awards:

  1. Thank and link to the person who nominated you.
  2. Share seven random facts about yourself.
  3. Pass the award along to 5 new-found blogging buddies.
  4. Contact the winners to congratulate them.

Seven Random Facts About Yours Truly:

1/ I prefer Zach Snyder’s Dawn of the Dead over George Romero’s version. Blasphemy-ahoy!

2/ I’m 35 years old and love the film Diary of a Wimpy Kid.

3/ It took me until my fourth attempt to pass my car driving test, but I nailed my articulated lorry test on the first go and was offered a job by the company later that day!

4/ I didn’t start eating mushrooms until two years ago and now I love them.

5/ As a kid I always preferred Marvel to DC Comics, and still do now. However, I buy more independents these days rather than either of the Big Twos’ comics. Geek me.

6/ I still think Dire Straits rock.

7/ I’m so good at Motorstorm on the PS3 they once showed my races on TV. Mind you, most of the guys I went up against pasted me…

And now for my nominees: (click on name to see their blog)

1/ Kevin Crew: I’ve mentioned him in previous blogs (as I will the next two or three names) and he is new to blogging, but very fresh with great lyrical skill and adorns his blogs with more than enough pictures to please the eye. Check him out.

2/ If I mention Roy DeWinkeleer and his blog anymore then people are gonna start to think we got something going on. Imagine that, though… the bastard child of Roy and I… it would either be utterly brilliant… or shot at birth.

3/ Derek Haines‘ blogs are something I have only just come across, which is naughty of me

Derek Haines

as I have been following him on twitter for a while now. Bad Jode. His latest offering is about childhood aspirations compared to what we have at our fingertips/wrists right now. Go check him out.

4/ This nomination is a little awkward to pull off. Night Shade Books are a publishing house that host a group blog written by a collection of their authors all releasing works this year. I couldn’t well name all of them so I’ve plumped for John Hornor Jacobs as his upcoming book ‘Southern Gods’ appeals to me with it’s ‘selling your soul to the devil’ vibe. As I have already done so myself.

5/ Another new guy and aspiring author trying to juggle Real Life against The Book – John Hardy Bell. Read his latest blog about struggling to get words on paper as work/life/etc all get in the way. John is a new friend of mine on twitter, but we seem to be having the same hardships getting The Book up and out there. Hopefully bouncing our blogs and tweets off of each other will gee us both up! I’ll race you, John!

That’s your lot this week, but hopefully the above bloggers/authors will give you plenty to digest until I can cobble together next weeks missive. You can also find all of the above authors in my blogroll down the right hand side of my page.