Tag Archives: Isle of Wight

Demons.

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I make no apologies now for what I am about to tell you.

This is not one of my normal blogs filled with jokes, idiocy, and me being a tool. You may have as hard a time reading it as I did writing it…

I worked within the mental health world for 7 years, between the ages of 20 to 27. I enjoyed the job – especially in the

depressionlocal psychiatric ward – and I met some remarkable, troubled people, and watched as they disappeared in a haze of medication as their demons dragged them down…

I felt sorry for those people.

In fact, I saw friends of mine enter the system and become faceless and mindless drones, pumped full of drugs… I pitied them, and I took solace in the fact that I was mentally strong enough to never be as weak as these people… and at the end of my shift I went home and forgot all about them.

I knew that I was stronger-willed than most, and would never succumb to a condition of the mind…

Which is why it nearly destroyed me when my own demons sunk their claws into me and dragged me to a cliff edge.

Literally.

It’s amazing to think that something as innocuous as an innocent phone call at 10.30am on a Tuesday morning can bring your world to a complete halt. It’s even more amazing to think that the person who called me has absolutely NO idea what it is they said… and what it did to me. I have never told them and I never will.

Don’t ever ask me about that phone call.

Just understand that it almost killed me.

It’s bizarre standing on a pavement when you feel your heart stop and everything around you slows to a crawl as the breath seems to be squeezed from your lungs. I was so aware of the moment that I can remember the faces of the people who walked past, and the cars and the bus that seemed to drive by in slow motion. I can even tell you what clothes I was wearing, and what I was holding in my left hand.

A bunch of flowers.

I went home, but I could feel the claws of some beast starting to pull at my mind. I tried to ignore it…demon bath

I tried to write…

I tried to eat…

I had nothing… nothing in me at all.

I sat in my flat for four days solid, drinking and getting high… or low. Whichever. It would provide me with relief for a short (oh so short) period of time… but then I would have to answer to the demons that came screaming inside my skull the next day.

That is, if my demons let me sleep.

Irony of ironies, I became a zombie (I’m writing a zombie book, have a zombie hand tattoo, and was in a zombie film) and ghosted in and out of each day, ignoring life. It – and I – didn’t seem to be able to coexist.

I was diagnosed with depression a week later, and when your family doctor of thirty years says to you; “I’m going to prescribe you some medication and you need to take it… because I don’t think you’ll make it without them…”

Well… that shit is just hard to hear.

But anything was better than what I was facing, and that was being alone in my flat day after fucking day, with no TV or music playing, sitting in my chair and staring at the walls or lying on my bed and fighting demons that clawed and scratched and bit and dragged me down into a place so dark… so bottomless… so dead… I shut my friends out. My good friends… the ones who knew that there was something wrong with me, and yet I was too stubborn and pig-headed to see that I was physically and mentally dying before people’s very eyes. I couldn’t think straight, I wasn’t paying my bills, and I lost two stone…

“Hey, you look like you’ve lost weight.”

“Hey, you’ve lost a lot of weight.”

“Hey, are you ok?”

“Hey, are you on drugs?”

“Hey… are you dying?”

In the end it’s easier to put your phone on silent and ignore the world. I shut everyone out. Everyone… The only things I had left were my demons.

And then one black day they won.

There’s a cliff here on the island where many people have driven or jumped over the edge. I won’t name names, because sandown_culver_downthis isn’t their story. But there was one young man who drove off of the edge almost a month to the day before I found myself standing on the brink.

And it was him that I needed to speak to.

So we talked.

He asked me what I was doing there and I gave him a wry smile. He nodded, sat by his wreaths and flowers, casually throwing stones over the cliff before us. I’d heard the stories going around about why he had driven his van over the edge and asked if they were true, but he didn’t answer. He just looked at me and raised an eyebrow.

In the end I asked him what could have been so awful that a man only twenty years of age could kill himself.

“The same things that brought you here,” he said. “Our demons.”

And then I could see them.

They were all around him, tearing at his clothes, scratching his face and his skin, biting him with their fangs.

That’s when my demons exploded from within.

My body became a lead-weight as they poured out, accompanied by the sensation of breathlessness that I had experienced when I took that phone call days before. And so I cried. I cried like a fucking baby. I stood there and couldn’t see the rocks below through the tears, and I have no idea how long I was there, but I missed around 30 phone calls that I failed to hear over the wind. Word was getting around that I was in a bad, bad place. crow

And now my demons were leading me towards the edge… And I was following them.

It’s a very hollow feeling to stare down into an abyss and feel no fear… no trepidation of what I was about to happen. The sea smashed on the rocks as hard as I knew that my body would, and I didn’t care if my carcass would be dragged out into sea and never recovered.

I was beyond caring.

I remember closing my eyes and feeling the wind around me, pulling me, tugging at me like those demons’ claws.

I remember stepping closer and closer to the edge until the top of chalk cliff touched the toes of my shoes…

And then I heard a voice…

“Son,” it said. “Son…”

I turned around and there was an old man walking his dog. He was mere feet away from me, but the look in his eyes when he saw my face hit me harder than anyone or anything ever has. I looked into his face and I saw terror. Absolute terror.

He just stood there, one hand reaching out towards me, repeating the word ‘son’ again and again. I stared at him, tears streaming down my face, just shaking my head at him.

“Son…” he said. For some reason I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket for the first time in who knew how long, and I looked at it. Among all of the messages, one caught my attention. “Think of your son.”

That word again… ‘son’.

And then I my lungs filled with air, goosebumps covered me and I felt how fucking cold the wind was… and I felt alive.

I looked down at the water and rocks 300 foot below, and I turned away and ran. I still feel bad that I never said a word to the old man, but I hope he realises what he did for me that day… in that monstersmoment.

I got back in my car and sat there and cried again… but this time in anger… anger at the way I’d almost given in to the beasts within me.

They had so very nearly won.

I sat there and cried myself to sleep until someone I loved turned up and hit me. And shouted at me. And held me.

Since that short time ago I have never doubted those with mental health issues. I pay a LOT more attention when I find my friends are down.

There’s a great quote from Stephen Fry who says that all someone with depression needs is someone to talk to. And he was right. I just didn’t know that it was also what I needed at the time.

Because I’ve always been a joker.

A fucking clown.

If you know me this whole blog must come as a bit of a shock to you, especially when you see all the shit that clutters up my Twitter and Facebook feeds. It’s always comedy… it’s always jokes.

But being a clown is a great way of hiding from your demons… keeping them at bay with your clown make-up on.

And I plan to keep my make-up on for as long as I can…

Because I know that if I take it off…

Well…

That’s when your demons find you.

stephen-fry-depression

About these ads

Do Not Read This.

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I told you NOT to read this and now you’re reading it. If I told you to jump off a cliff would you do that?

Actually, if I told you to give me money would you do that??

The reason for the very small, nonsensical blog is because I’m involved in WordPress’ ‘Blog A Week’ which means that I have to blog… every week… obviously.

But, I’ve left it too late this week, and here on the Isle of Wight we’re embarking on Scooter Weekend and I’m going to be too busy to come up with anything intelligent or funny. For once.

But, on Sunday, I’m off to the SW4 Festival in London to meet up with DJC-Kay (his website is in my links to the right) and we’re gonna tear it up on Clapham Common before hitting the Ministry of Sound until 7am.

Knowing the things and situations that I usually get into, I’m praying I get back somewhen within the next 7 days…

My next blog will be biblical.

The International MixTrain Collective – Fatter Agnus Interview

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[This weeks' blog sees the start of semi-regular interviews with some of the International MixTrain Collective's DJs, in a bid to spread the word and recruit new and talented DJs. This interview is with the IMTC's founder, Fatter Agnus.]

Hi Fatter. As you know I have been championing the MixTrain Collective for weeks, if not months, now, and the wider world and I would like to know more about you and the Collective. For starters, how did the formation of the MixTrain come about?

I used to play back in the 90’s but was away from the whole scene for more than a decade. I had been mulling over doing something again but didn’t want to go back to a pure-play vinyl/turntable setup. When the Native Instruments Kontrol S4 was released last Autumn I was instantly sold and decided that this was what I wanted to use for mixing.  The Kontrol S4 was in short supply all over the US so I spent a lot of time on web site learning about the kit as I waited for mine to arrive.  During that time I came across the DJTechTools site which is pretty much the number one DJ technology site out there.  I quickly became involved on their user forum and saw guys doing these mix trains – guys from all over agreeing to do, day a psy-trance mix train and each guy recording 10-15 minutes of a mix and sharing that file with the next guy to add on to. I thought about just getting involved on the trains happening there but what I really wanted was to do some stuff with my own circle of friends. I got a lot of good advice from the lads on the DJTechTools boards about putting mix trains together so II shot out a message to some friends with on Facebook to see if they would be up for something similar. The response was pretty quick and very positive. Within a couple of hours we had a dozen people spread across a bunch of time zones – all up for putting a drum and bass mix.  The first mix took about 6 weeks to complete as it went Cleveland, Ohio, USA – Isle of Wight -London – Isle of Wight – Raleigh, North Carolina, USA – Kuwait City, although I might not have that exactly right!

I love the whole concept of different DJs from all over the world getting together and creating a mix with their own styles. Would you say that starting the mix as the first DJ is hardest, or has the guy at the end got a lot to contend with as an hour mix drops through his email and he has to create something to compliment it? And is it usually in your hands to kick things off?

The DJ that kicks off the train does have a responsibility to ensure that their slot is appropriate and representative of the agreed theme.  You certainly don’t want to be working on a Mix Train where the first DJ has decided to drop Balls-to-the-Wall Scandinavian Death Squad Loop Rape Techno – especially when you were expecting some dubstep action.  Luckily, we haven’t run into anything like that yet.  We don’t ask DJs to audition as most are referred by existing members but if we have someone who finds us through Twitter, Facebook or WordPress, we will ask them for a Soundcloud link or something similar so the existing members of the group can check them out. We actually met DJC-Kay on Twitter and everyone loved what he did on The Drop Train.

As for the being the last DJ, it’s always fun to be able to really go to town on the last slot and really build on the other DJ’s work.  Depending on the DJ’s setup, there are more technical considerations the further into the mix you go. For instance, some people play “Suicide Style” where they play and record the incoming mix and start their mix at the end.  This is the quickest and most effective way to do it but if you make a mistake you have to start the whole thing again. We have guys using Ableton, Traktor, Serato and a number of other DJ and audio platforms and they all have their own way of doing it.

DJ CK

There are no hard and fast rules about who kicks off a train. I started the very first one and have probably kicked off a couple on top of that but it’s generally the DJ who comes up with an idea for a new train that gets things going. In other cases we just list all the available slots and let people sign up on a first come, first served basis.

I’m a big fan of DJC-Kay as I, too, found him through Twitter. How important are social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter to the MixTrain? And do you interact with any other sites?

There are two sides to the Mix Train. There’s the public side where we post mixes, let people know what’s going on and loom to attract new talent.  Then you have the internal side where the mix trains are created and managed and the place where the DJs get together.  Most of this could have been done before social networking erupted as internet forums have been around forever. In fact the DJTT guys do everything on their boards .  Having said all that, social networking allows you cast your net much farther in terms of working with a broader variety of DJs and attracting a more diverse group of listeners.  It’s also amazing how much a seemingly insignificant feature like the ‘add document’ in Facebook Groups has helped. The docs feature enables us to set out mix trains and let users in the group sign up, make edits and swap places with other DJs without everything having to go through Jay Innit , Erick Bruce or myself.  Of all the technology we currently use,Dropbox is hands-down my favorite. Dropbox is a service that allows folders to be shared and synchronized across multiple computers via the web.  This is what we use to share mix train mixes as they go from one DJ to another.

In terms of what sites we use it’s mostly Facebook, Twitter and WordPress. The Facebook

fan page is a good place if you just want to be notified of new mix trains and get the odd

Oz White

update as we really don’t go crazy on the page with updates as to what we had for dinner.  Twitter is becoming more and more important and Mix Train tweets vary from information on new and upcoming mixes to relevant music/technology retweets and often it’s just what happens to be on my mind, which is clearly of interest to everyone on the planet! The WordPress site is my favorite as everything is there, all the mixes, the DJ profile pages and any articles that I decide to write. I am trying to get the Mix Train boys to write too as some of them have some great expertise to share.  Recently myself and our in-house Alchemist FutureKing were talking about him doing a series of articles about creating mashups. He is doing some really amazing stuff with seemingly not much more than a Commodore 64 and a myopic crow .

Ah, Futureking… I remember him and Jay Innit being the resident DJs in one of the smallest, grimiest clubs ever to have (dis)graced the face of the earth. They were characters now as they were then, if only with a few more grey hairs. Maybe you should get Future King to tell everyone about some of the (mis)adventures they got up to back ‘in the day’. Did you ever used to play clubs, bars, etc?

I played a few different clubs over the years but never reached the level of infamy attained by Messers King and Innit. In fact, I had a few messy nights myself at the particular club in question. What these two guys brought to the crowd was quality music that, like them, didn’t take themselves too seriously. “Serious Ravers” could go and have it next to kids who’d previously only been exposed to top 40 dance fodder. Back then there was also a lot of competition between DJs but these guys never had to play that game – they had a style, a home and a following to beat all followings.A lot of people got their music education at that venue.

Today I continue to be blown away by both of them.  I bow to Jay’s ability to take a set in any direction he pleases and Andy’s productions consistently give me the shivers. It was only this afternoon that I realized that I had one of his sets on repeat for 3 hours. So, yes, I played, but not like these two.

Climbing back aboard the MixTrain, I’ll be playing your latest mix on my radio show to tie in with this blog – as well as posting it on the bottom of this page. Tell me a bit more about this mix and also about the DJs involved in it.

IMTC 018 – ‘The Drop’ was originally called “Darker or Harder than the last’. The idea was to start the mix off with more accessible dinner drum and bass and take it downward from there.  Oz White kicks things off with BCee &  S.P.Y.’s  “Is Anybody Out There?”- a  liquid pleaser that I fell in love with the second I heard it. The baton gets handed over at the 10 minute mark to North London’s DJC-Kay who stamps his trademark smooth D&B vibe on the mix before an eight time zone jump to the West Coast and into the hands of my beat gridding tutor, Professor Ben (yes, he’s really a professor).  The scholar swiftly brings the horror with some fierce jungle that sets the tone for the rest of the mix.  Things change

direction again with a stop in Cleveland, Ohio again as yours truly flips the whole thing on

Professor Ben on the left#

its head with “Diary Tribe Volume 1” (Flump Pumper Dub) which has as much place in a drum and bass set as a bucket of minced eels in a KitKat factory.  If my slot is the darker, techier part of the mix, NoHero’s is by far the fattest, dropping monsters like Figure and Whiskey Pete’s “Cut Throat” on Heavy Artillery Recordings.  As for the last ten minutes? Well, it does exactly what it says on the tin. Jay Innit hits the red button and proceeds to stroll through the carriages, grinning at the punters as the train separates from the the rails, plows across the motorway and sets course for the  nearest ravine. Does that sum it up?

Eloquently. The IMTC has only been around briefly, but what are your long term plans and goals for you and your crew?

I started this whole project as a way for like-minded DJs to connect, and that will always be our ethos.  Moving forward, I would like to see our little community expand with new players from different parts of the world, bringing different viewpoints and styles. I don’t care if you are fourteen or four hundred and forty four, if you have a sound and can bring it, we want you. We have also seen more chatter in the group around production and I think there are some opportunities for collaboration there.

Future King of the World...?

I also think there is an opportunity here to create a (dare I say it) brand that’s capable of really changing the way electronic music artists rock a crowd.  We have lots of solo DJ’s and producers, a few double acts and a handful of awesome outfits but we don’t have a dynamic where the sound comes before everything.  Wouldn’t it be incredible if you could be in Sydney, San Diego or Shanklin and be able to go to a Mix Train gig where you didn’t know exactly who was playing but knew your night was going to be utterly explosive?  Given the right growth the IMTC has the ability to do this.

A global brand? A banging night? Or both? Here on the island we already have one of the IMTC DJs – Oz White – hosting his briliant drum and bass nights here in Ryde, but I do believe that our local area needs an IMTC night, as does Sydney, San Diego, et al. And I expect tickets. Will you be pressing the IMTC to pursue this kind of venture? Or will the Train remain on the tracks it already steams along for now?

Initially I would like to see an uptake in membership from more diverse parts of the World and that’s something I think we can achieve with the right people involved in the project.  To that end, we are actively looking for a few non-DJ’s who can seriously help promote the IMTC and attract more listeners and more players (well networked music bloggers – please get in touch).  As for the Global Brand – there’s definitely an opportunity there but like everything else, it comes down to time and money.  What is certain is that we will continue to put out solid mixes that people want to listen and dance to. It would be very cool to see an IMTC night on the Island though!

Click to listen to the IMTC mix – The Drop

And to see the MixTrain site, discover the full track listing for The Drop (as well as downloading it for FREE), and to play their other mixes or to help promote the Mix Train brand and get involved at the ground floor…  click on this link!

An Interview With Joe Barnes of Born In a Barn!

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The Isle of Wight is home to many musical talents, and one especially has been pulling in crowds at clubs, bars and festivals all over the south coast of England for the last few years.

I’ve managed to catch these guys a couple of times (a Black Sheep gig and supporting DJ Format) and have also had the good grace to whore them all over my radio show on http://www.vectisradio.com!

This interview is with Joe Barnes, lead vocalist of one of the Island’s biggest Hip Hop acts – Born In A Barn.

Joe, how did BIAB come into existence?

The Barn was formed because we needed a name for the music we were producing and performing. Seeing that my surname is Barnes and we recorded all of our songs on a farm next to one of the oldest barns in the UK we thought it seemed relevant! Everything from there onwards went a bit rural!


Did you always want to be an MC?

Well not exactly… I loved hip hop from the age of about 10 but I thought rapping was just for Americans! Then came along Mike Skinner (The Streets) and I thought if this guy can do it ‘I CAN TOO’. Around the same time I got put on to some other really good UK hip hop MC’s by DJ ‘Mewtant‘. I still listen to all of those MC’s he put me on too. Since then I haven’t looked back.
How did the Isle of Wight mould you into the MC you are today? Surely there isn’t that big a Hip-hop scene to be found?

You would be surprised how big a scene there is! The Isle of Wight still makes up a massive part of my influence, and at the start it was my only source of inspiration. One of my first songs was called “2 Get Where You’re Going, You Need 2 Know Where You’re from”, and I believe this in every sense. There are so many things I could say about our Island but actions speak louder than words.

Who are the biggest names that you have supported or starred alongside?

When we started out we were lucky enough to become friends with Jeremy ‘Jez’ Court  and Rick ‘Rickus’ Stanbridge  of Happy Feet Productions who booked us and put us up on stage with American acts such as Ugly Duckling, Halfway House Emcees, Giant Panda, Charlie Chase & Prince Whipper Whip and Renowned UK battle MC’s – Stig of the Dump & Dr Syntax. If you know hip hop you will know these artists. Since then we have gone on to star on flyers alongside acts such as Rob Da Bank, Kid British and The Correspondents along with hosting our slot in the come dancing tent every Friday night at the Bestival for 3 years in a row.

Tell me more about the Black Sheep album you have soon to be released.


The Black Sheep was named back in early 2009 because I felt – at the time – like an outcast musically in that our stuff was really unlike most grimey UK Hip Hop MC’s, and also personally because it seemed like people thought I was trying to be something I wasn’t. Now I have come to realise how much people relate with our music and I feel very grateful for all the encouragement from all our fans, old and new, we do it all for you lot!

Also, if anyone out there wants a copy of the promo they can join our mailing list on our website www.rustikrecords.co.uk where we send all our subscribers our promo tracks amongst other things.


What are your future ambitions for Born In A Barn?

We are currently working on our first digital release – Rustik Records: Vol.1 - which is being sub-released by Munch Records in Plymouth, going out on all major download sites. If you’ve ever seen us on stage you’ll know we always bring friends along and these friends are all working with us on our new label. We have a reggae project (One Stone) a hip-hop act (Ambush Tactics), Myself (Born Ina Barn) & my partner-in-crime (1Lung). Once this first release goes out we can officially publish our own releases through Munch Records personal publisher. So keep your eyes peeled! It’s only the beginning.

Where do you see BIAB being in 5 years’ time? Further afield than the island and south coast – possibly Europe? Head-lining the Bestival? Your hardcore following are such that I saw a LOT of the crowd when you supported DJ Format singing along with you, and on my radio show you boys are often requested every week. Surely BIAB have the potential to become even bigger?

We’re flattered by the support of local radio, and especially our loyal fans; they’re hardcore and we love it! We do fell we have something to offer all people in all walks of life and I think with the right financial backing we could bring our music to Europe and all the corners of the UK. As for headlining the Bestival… we’re all allowed to dream aren’t we?

Tell me more about your website. I know you’re facebook page is popular (with almost 1000 fans already), but are you on twitter? Do you feel that in todays’ age social networking is important to spread the BIAB word? Or do you rely on people discovering you through word-of-mouth and live performances?

Our website is still under construction at the moment as we’re so busy with performing and putting out our new release, we are on twitter but I don’t use it all that often.  I think social networking is perfect to spread your new songs around and keep people informed on shows, etc, but eye to eye still wins people over a lot more! Most of our successes have been down to word of mouth! Only this year have we started getting real online interest/bookings after performing for 4-5 years.


Now Joe, can you tell us any scandalous/interesting stories about your gigs with/without some of the acts you’ve mentioned above?

I could tell you some scandalous stories! But I’m not going to! *Laughs* we’ll save those for the stage. Over the years we’ve met a whole lot of interesting and semi-famous people. I had quite a funny incident with Suggs from Madness at Camp Bestival last year – normally when meeting your peers you’re quite shy and bashful, but I was half-cut and ended up interrupting him while he was chatting to a mate by saying “Oi, Suggsy!” He wasn’t impressed… but we all still crease up about it now.


Finally, Joe, what would you suggest to any budding hip-hoppers on the Isle of Wight to enable them to get a foothold into the music scene?

Don’t take yourself too seriously; don’t take no for an answer; enjoy your music and work hard at being the best you can be. Most importantly, be yourself.

Thanks Joe. You can catch Born In A Barn at these following confirmed gigs this summer 2011:

15th April, The Black Sheep (I.O.W)
10th May, The Underbelly venue (Hoxton, London)
24th May, Sixty Million Post Cards (Bournemouth)

27th May, Dex fm Live (Ryde)
3rd June, The Black Sheep (I.O.W)
16th July, Legends in the park (I.O.W)
22nd July, The Black Sheep (I.O.W)

23rd July Rhythm tree Festival (I.O.W)
29th July, Camp Bestival, Black Dahlia tent (Dorset)
12th August, Boomtown Fair (special location)
19th August, V-Dub Island (I.O.W)

26th-29th August, Aeon Festival (Exeter)

——————————————————————————————————-

And finally, MY own personal favourite BIAB track:


What Jody Did in 2010

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It’s part pure-self-indulgence, and part diary… as since I started drinking less my memory’s started getting worse… and I thought it was supposed to be the other way round!

Below is a list of what I achieved/enjoyed/did during the year of 2010, which has gone down as One Of The Best Years Of My Life(TM). Most of you will have been involved to some degree, some of you will have followed my adventures, and some of you have come here wondering who the hell I am, and those that know me will wonder just how the hell I managed it all! Well, join the club.

——————————————————————————————-

JANUARY

The year started with snow and Gareth “Big Perm” Brown stayed snowed-in at mine for a couple of days. It was also (my youngest son) Bam’s first real snowfall that he could go out

If you can't drop your trousers in front of a strange, hungover German, who can you drop them in front of?

and play in. Work and schools are closed as are most roads.

Started my radio career with Vectis Radio – an online radio station based here on the Isle of Wight – as Bully’s assistant during his afternoon show.

Brighton Tattoo Convention was also our destination at the end of the month where I got a shark tattoo on my thigh by Mark Halbstark -  a tattoo which ends up in Skin Deep magazine later that year!

The Wild Bunch hit The Folly for Richie’s birthday.

MARCH

For my birthday my sister Kay and her husband-to-be, Steve, got me 8 weeks of salsa dancing in revenge for the Des O’Connor tickets I gave her for her birthday the previous year. I take my partner-in-crime – Simon Cope – with me as punishment for him laughing about it. I won’t digress exactly what happened… as all these “birthday presents

Me, Ollie, Perm and Copey.

spiralling out of control” are for a future blog… or book!

My birthday is also shared by Amy Bailey! Who then ups and leaves me to go to Australia… this trend continues through the year as Gareth Brown also goes to the same country and Chris ‘Anal’ Ettritch and Caroline Uncle also head out to the far east.

The Ryde Taxis 16 seater bus I drive got on TV on South Today! I volunteered to sit in it while they filmed… they said no. Face for radio, anyone?

I’m also the bus driver for local band The Dead Perrys for their photo shoot. It ends up in true rock and roll style as we ruin places, pubs and rock out til 4am…

APRIL

I start my own show at Vectis Radio, playing soul and funk. The first show I’m nervous as hell, but soon into my element and start playing tracks that have sampled old songs, so hip hop becomes prevalent. The show morphs and later in the year I move to Tuesday nights

The WIld Bunch

and get free reign and host special shows covering the Wu Tang, the Beastie Boys, DJ Shadow and Cypress Hill. Thanks Macca!

The Wild Bunch hit the Windmill in Bembridge.

I see Mat Carrington for the first time this year after promising us both I’d make more of an effort to get over to see him in Wimbourne. I do well on that promise through the rest of the year.

I join Twitter. It takes me a good month or so to get into it but it is very rewarding and has allowed to me speak to many other writers, sports fans, stars, etc. By the end of the year I will have struck up a friendship with Dan Gold, and spoke to DJ Mistajam, page 3 girl Rosie Jones, porn star Rachael Williams, UK hip-hoppers Foreign Beggars, Brighton stars Rizzle Kicks, and writer Rebecca Woodhead! An honourable mention goes to Marni Mann, a writer awaiting publication who I will be talking to throughout my own process of trying to become a published author. *note to self: ask Marni if I can be the first to interview her once published!* (also, Marni’s blog is on this page under the ‘blogroll’ section)

MAY

The garden outside the flats Copey and I live in gets a big renovation! The grass and wild bushes are cut and a fence is put up by Lee Daniel… thus allowing us to have some big, crazy barbeque’s that run throughout the summer. Strangely, once the grass is cut, I find a

You can't actually see the pain we were in.

pair of Jamaican pants.

I win £400 as Norwich win League One.

The Wild Bunch hit the Folly. Again.

Copey and I Walked The Fucking Wight. All 26 miles of it for charity. It wasn’t my choice but Bully asked us live on air on Vectis Radio, so how could we refuse? My feet hurt afterwards. A lot. Almost as much as I hurt Isle of Wight Radio when I got to the finish line and they asked who I was walking for. I was wearing a Vectis Radio t-shirt and I proclaimed it live on their show!

Went to Wembley with Bully, Frank and his son Danny to watch England play Hungary in a friendly before the Shit World Cup. It wouldn’t be my last visit to Wembley this year.

We roll up at the Bournemouth Tattoo Convention. I don’t have any work done but I do get to meet Dan Gold of London Ink fame!

JUNE

The Wild Bunch hit The Sloop.

Got my picture taken with Kate Moss after driving her back from the Isle of Wight Festival, along with her rocker boyfriend, Jamie Hince – who was a lovely fellow!

But Kate wasn’t a patch on the Bunch’s own H-Bomb – Ms Haley Owen. We rocked up at On The Rocks in Yarmouth for her birthday.

We host a barbeque to end all barbeques for an England World Cup game. It’s still talked about in pubs and clubs across the island. Apparently. Also, it isn’t a patch on the

She was a little starstruck at first.

monster BBQ we hosted the month before, in which we had more people than the pub across the road! Inman also supplies much mirth with his bionic leg…

The Wild Bunch hit Portsmouth for Copey’s birthday. (I do realise that some of you have no idea who the Wild Bunch are, but they are a close group of my friends and will feature in a blog coming soon!)

My bus and I ferried passengers backwards and forwards to a church and reception in nearby St Helens for one of Jimmy Choo’s designers.

The Bunch hit the Alamo for Emily’s birthday.

I start up an email-writing-humour-filled friendship with Mr Jason Tabrys; truly my partner-in-crime. One of us will end up famous. The other will be riding the others coat-tails… but as long as there are big houses and bitches involved, I don’t care who does it.

JULY

I finally take over the gold mondeo I’ve been driving sporadically over the last couple of years. I’ve no real intention of driving it as I need to give my dad some more work as the markets he’s been grafting for years don’t seem to be a viable long term prospect. Plus it’s warmer in the car. Only downside is he’ll probably meet some of my idiot mates… but at least the car is now mine after a long, drawn-out process of trying to buy it. And blowing an engine in it. Twice.

Bam, Jo and I go to the Isle of Wight Zoo which is always good fun. Her brother – Darren (of the NFL blog fame) – works there and feeds the goats with Bam while I look after the monkey. *ahem*

Tommy Harding manages to coax me out of beach football retirement to play a game for

What the fuck were we thinking?

him along with some of my old team as he’s short of players. We lose. I don’t even make it onto the pitch after realising how unfit I am walking to the pitch.

The Ryde Taxis weekly golf tournament starts. Copey and I are very similar in scores throughout the next few weeks. The sessions also allow Frank Allen the following observation:

“Jody’s golf swing is perfect – he actually looks like a pro… until he hits the ball.”

The Wild Bunch hit Weatherspoons. Hard.

Had a five minute chat all about Bam with Hawksbee and Jacobs on their brilliant TalkSport afternoon show. I have intentions for TalkSport but all will be revealed at a later date…

I take Bam to the Thomas Day Out at Havenstreet Steam Railway, a day we always both enjoy. It’s also probably Bam’s favourite place on the island and we’ll be back again a couple of times during the year.

And in July I started blogging.

AUGUST

Take Bam to Space Island and catch up with some old friends in the form of Skeete, Lucy

Lee’s photo of Bam, through a treestump

and Lee Richards and all their kids. Lee takes a photo of Bam which gets reproduced many times by myself and ends up as a Christmas present to my mum. Lee definitely needs to get more involved in photography. And he also qualifies for a blog on his own… not just through his photography but because every time he asks me to come out for a quiet drink, things go veeeeeeeeeeeeery awry.

Went to Brixton Academy with Lindon Plumley and saw the Wu-Tang Clan! Blogged.

Bam and I go to the Chale Show to confront my fear of flying by going up in the helicopter tours they do every year….

…this year they’re not doing them.

It’s my old friend and boss Andy Younies’ 40th birthday at the Oakfield Club House… a truly colourful event!

Andy's 40th

Saw Mat Carrington BA Hons III again!

Gabbi Wickes and her dad, Kev, come down for a week and we end up on a good night out.

Back to Havenstreet with Bam, this time for the Steam Fayre.

The island is besieged during it’s always-brilliant Scooter Rally, and Frank Allen and I are convinced to go down to the King Lud pub wearing our football shirts as we were informed THAT everyone would be doing the same that night. Frank and I are the only ones with football shirts on.

The last barbeque of the year is – as always – a big event, and this time we even have the debut of local island band The Hay Stack Rats!

SEPTEMBER

It’s off to Thorpe Park we go on a day out with Copey, Jo, The Guv’nor (Andy) and others. I worry Bam will be scared of the rides… but he soon puts me straight on that one. We also see Louie Spence, Duncan James, and Tamzin Outhwaite there. As you do.

The Wild Bunch hit Appley Manor for some joint birthdays. It ends up in my garden at 2am doing headstands.

OCTOBER

Most of this month is taken up with Jo and I going on holiday to Canada. I’ve already blogged the hell out of it so go read them.

The Wild Bunch hit Ryde Tandoori.

I hang around with him for his intelligence and humour. Since he sold the car I haven't been over to see him, however.

Saw Mr Carrington again.

Bump into old friends Joz and Jodie on a random night out in Spoons. It’s messy, but fun. Some of the Bunch are in attendance.

Remember the salsa dancing Kay and Steve got me? Well, I make them read The Worst Poem In The World(TM) at the Quay Arts Centre in front of the Island Poetry Society. Again, one day this will be a blog or a book. Or read out at my funeral.

Darren and I go to Wembley for the Annual International NFL Game. Again, blogged.

NOVEMBER

Andy, Bam, myself and loads more kids go to Splashdown in Poole.

Bam.

The island suffers some heavy floods. Bam and I go play in them!

The Ryde Taxi drivers have a Jolly Boys Outing to France and Belgium.

DECEMBER

Snow falls heavy right at the start of the month.

I take Bam, Cameron and Chloe to the Spinnaker Tower in Portsmouth, and a quick trip round Gunwharf.

I manage to get a part as a zombie in The Zombie Diaries 2: World of the Dead thanks to old family friend Liam Kealy! The film is released this coming July (2011) and I will put up the blog about my day of being dead up then.

A man of natural beauty.

The Wild Bunch have their annual Christmas dinner… this time at the Beijing Palace. Nothing like a good old traditional chicken korma for Christmas…

Chris ‘Anal’ Ettritch and I take out Jo’s car with Bam in the snow… and rag the shit out of it. Must admit, it’s a gem in the snow, that little Fiesta!

This is quickly followed by Anal and Caroline’s leaving do, as they are off around the world for four months

——————————————————————————————-

So, that’s my year in summary. Again, self-indulgent and a good way for me to look back in years to come and remember just exactly what the hell I was doing, but it’s fun nonetheless, and it should be a good read if you’re one of my friends or if you simply want to know about me!

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve still got a bloody book to write!

Canada – Day 10: Vernon and Davison Orchard

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An early rise (as always during our holiday) starts with what can be loosely described as breakfast at the Travel Lodge. It involves being crammed into a tiny room shared by the reception desk, with the other residents lining up to butter toast or dispense cereal from downward-facing containers. I almost skipped it, but one slice of dry, horrible cold toast and we’re heading for Vernon.

Lake Okanagan

Vernon – in my opinion – is one of the nicest housed areas we’ve seen, and there’s still plenty of hills and mountains in every direction to keep it picturesque.

We head up to Silver Star Road where our destination is a hotel called The Castle On The Mountain and it’s owned by Ray Clark and family – brother to my friend Kev, who lives half a mile away from me on the Isle Of Wight.

It’s a beautiful house, and the view is spectacular out of our front-facing window. We drop our luggage off and Ray briefs us on a couple of places to visit before we head into Vernon’s centre for some tourist time.

A wild deer we saw in Ellison Park

The town itself is the usual collection of shops, so we head out to Ellison Park – in particular a lovely little spot looking out over Lake Okanagan. Unbelievably the toilets are Chris Ettritch-proof: they’re simply holes in the ground covered by huts… and you certainly wouldn’t want to drop your wallet down one…

20km in the other direction (40k with Jo’s navigation skills) and we quickly visit a quaint farming community called Lumby before finding ourselves at the Shuswap hydro-electricity site – a very impressive amalgamation of nature and man-made machinery.

The Shuswap Hydro-electricity Plant

Afterwards we went back into Vernon and visited the Davison Orchard where they were ending their season of pumpkin harvesting. I was so hungry by this time I was sampling all of the free biscuits and dips on offer… and I heartily recommend the apple butter!

A bunch of pumpkin heads.

Pizza and pasta dinner at Boston Pizza that evening and we were done for the day, retiring back to our comfy room in the Castle On The Mountain to blissfully relax…

…unaware that tomorrow I would inadvertedly almost kill ourselves and two other people…