Tag Archives: book

If I Won The Lottery…

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Now that the euromillions runs twice a week and I’m forking out almost £40 a week on that and the normal lottery, I feel that I’m due a great big dirty win. The record amount won by someone in the UK was £113million.

Which, I feel, is a fair amount for me as well.

Here’s how I’d spend it.

1/ Give £13million to Norwich City FC

(cue jokes about wasting money, etc) I love my club, and always have done. By giving them £13big-ones I’d ensure myself a place on the board, so as to be a voice of the fans.

The money would go to redeveloping some of the ground (it’s already a good stadium, but it needs more seats), buying myself an executive box for life – which I wouldn’t use as I’d be in the Snake Pit with the fans – and then whatever is left will go on players. Scott Parker would be a good start.

2/ Sort the clan out

Houses for my sisters, folks and kids. Big fat trust funds, bonds, savings, whatever is advised by the best financial advisers in the country.

Which I’d then ignore and go and spunk it on…

3/ Toys

Boats, cars, quads, you name it. Anything that I don’t need and don’t want I will buy. A Hummer? Why not. And paint it pink.

My own jet, parked up in Southampton airport so that, whenever I feel like it, I can go and fly to one of my many…

4/ Houses

I’d have one in Canada, somewhere around Victoria. With a helicopter in the garden so I can pop out to Calgary and Vancouver. I fucking love Canada. I’d buy a pet bear and let it roam free in the garden. Just because I can.

I’d have a home in Italy, too. A great big villa in the north, with acres of vineyards where Jose will make shit-loads of wine. Jose is Spanish. I’m not sure what he’s doing in Italy. Other than making me wine.

I need a home in the US as well, but I haven’t picked where yet. One around New York, definitely, and one in Chicago for sure. Then I can go and watch the Chicago Bears in every home game.

Rosie Jones

I’d pay for a private photo shoot with Rosie Jones. And by private, I mean she can get butt-naked and let me take pictures. If she feels uncomfortable I’d point at the table next to the camera with enough coinage to make Simon Cowell touch himself.

6/ Sasha Grey

This lady might not do porn anymore but once I whiff the fibre of my monetary fabric under her nose she’ll lay me like a new carpet.

Everyone has their price. I’ll pay whatever hers is.

Incidentally, my price is knocking around the minimum wage mark. Or throw me a quarter pounder and I’m yours.

6/ The Ryde Sandblasters

Excuse me for a moment.

I’d revive my old beach team and make them a force to be reckoned with. We’d tour the world playing football with myself as coach, and a host of ex-professionals flaunting their stuff on the sand.

“Cantona to Maradona… Maradona to Di Canio… Di CANIO TO RUTH… RUTH… RUTH… it’s a throw-in.”

7/  Get that damn book published…

…by finally finishing the damn thing, buying a publishing house, and then publishing it everywhere. If book shops don’t stock it, then I’ll buy them and they’ll do as they are fucking told.

8/ X-box vs PS3

I’d buy every X-box fanboy a lesson in common sense until they actually get some. And a PS3.

9/ Comic

I’d write and release my own comic. Something along the lines of The Walking Dead but without half of the fucking comic being taken up by gushing fanboy letters. I don’t buy porn to read the smutty stories, and I don’t want half my comic to be a fucking letters page.

I used to write comics as a youngster, into my teens, and I think I was getting somewhere at one point. Then I got drunk a lot.

10/ Tattoos

I probably need a couple more. I have some bare skin. Somewhere.

A zombie-sleeve by Dan Gold, then I’d travel the world getting inked by the best tattooists out there.

11/ The Sopranos

Ok, ok, I get the ending, but it’s still a little flat. I’d commission a one-off special just so we find out what exactly happens.

And if the guy at the counter is a shooter…

12/ You can add another episode of Lost to that as well.

—————————————————————————————————

A couple of you that know me might wonder why I haven’t added ‘Buy Shitloads of Porn’ to the list. It’s because I actually own every fucking magazine and dvd ever made. Fact.

That’s all I can think of for now. I probably should add that if I did really win all that cash then I’d probably be dead within a week, via an explosion of Charlie Sheen-like proportions.

Death by pornstars.

I’d take that.

Now, let me know what you’d do with a big win. Go on, blog it. (I’m looking at you Roy Radventurer).

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10 Creative Writing Tips to Remember… Apparently.

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So, as a budding writer I took out a subscription to Writing Magazine – a publication which is both brilliant, informative and essential for people such as myself. There was also an incentive to subscribe; aside from getting a copy of the heavyweight Writers’ and Artists’ Yearbook 2011, I also received three books to help the aspiring author get started on their career goal.

One of these three books is Get Started In Creative Writing (I’m sure I’ll cover the other two in future blogs). In one of the opening chapters it highlights Ten Things to Remember which I’m going to take and run with in this blog.

1/ Let everyone know you are writing. It will help keep you focused.

Seriously, this is great advice. For 35 years I hid the fact that I loved to write from nearly everyone, but revealing all at the turn of this year in my ‘Gonna Write a Book‘ blog gave me the impetus to go ahead and get on with it.

And you’d be amazed how many people greet me with ‘have you finished the book yet’? It happens nearly every day, which inspires me to get on with it!

2/ Make time to write every day, even if it is only for a few minutes.

Again, great advice, but one that I sometimes find hard to stick to. I write this blog, guest spots for websites, my Open University course work, and various other writery pieces, but putting together a few words of The Book every day eludes me. It doesn’t happen often, and I’m currently 13,500 words in, but I expect to have reached 20,000 by the end of this month.

3/ Use the library to reacquaint yourself with writers you love.

No. I do not do this. I LOVE books, and if I want one I’ll scour ebay or Amazon and buy it. I can’t remember the last time I set foot in a library… which is a poor thing, but if I need to research then the internet is my best friend.

4/ Experiment by reading new writers.

Yeah, I agree with this. But I also discover OLD writers and their styles all the time. For instance, I’ve just read my first A J Cronin book – A Tale of Two Worlds, which is all about a man becoming a surgeon in the 1950s. Might not sound too appealing to some people but I really enjoyed it, and Cronin’s style is very engaging.

The only thing that ruined the book for me was his incessant ranting about god throughout the final two chapters which was completely unnecessary and completely out of character with the rest of a good read.

I’m an atheist and don’t like people forcing religion down my throat at the best of times, so to have it done so unexpectedly after enjoying a good book really kinda threw me.

Plus Cronin basically said that if someone doesn’t believe in god then he is a fool, which really fucked me off. Still, I have another Cronin book to read, so I will see what that holds in store for me…

5/ Read reviews, see what’s out there.

Now, this isn’t exactly something I do do (cue Peter Griffin ‘doo-doo’ gag). I read A LOT, but I tend to skip reviews as I have a ‘to read’ pile so damn big that I’m trying not to get distracted by reviews that will make me buy other books!

I can see why it would help, but it’s not something I adhere to.

6/ Don’t worry about all the time that’s past – it’s what you write now and in the future that counts.

Agree agree agree. I’m 35 and sometimes think that I’m too old to be trying to become a writer, but, writing is a talent and it doesn’t give a damn how old you are. So I manned-up, and here I am.

7/ Copy out a piece of writing you love.

And just hope it isn’t fucking War and Peace.

(PS – No, I didn’t/haven’t/won’t do it, but I can see the benefits. I like to think I’m devising my own style without replicating someone elses’)

8/ Don’t worry about buying expensive laptops or PCs. A pen and a cheap notepad will do.

Amen, brother. You honestly wouldn’t believe me if I told you how many times I’ve bought new pads and pens in small shops, service stations, airports, etc, but it’s true. I have a pen and pad to hand wherever I go, and if I don’t I keep notes on my phone.

9/ Join a writing group if you can.

This I have dabbled with, as I have contacted one on the Isle of Wight, but haven’t joined. If anyone knows anything about them then please contact me!

10/ Don’t write for money. There isn’t any.

Does any REAL writer think they’ll make millions? Other than me? Off of my film/tv/comic tie-ins?

See you at the party at my mansion.

The First 500 words of ‘The Book’

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I said last week I might throw a sample part of the book I’m writing at you… and I am. It’s to highlight how much my writing has improved (I hope!) over the last 15 years, and I’ve also done it as I need to ‘restart my engines’ again after having become a little slack, so getting all of you to read it and hearing any of the comments/critiques/suggestions you may have should get me going nicely again. (Feel free to comment and/or ‘like’ at the bottom of the page)

Now, I actually had this ready earlier in the week but I needed to ask the opinions of my two sidekicks (Jay Tabrys – comedy sidekick, minus the comedy, and Marni Mann – hot and intelligent sidekick), and their words helped me considerably, as I was really split on whether to go through with this or not. Marni helped me shape the wording and grammar better, while Jay gave me a nice back rub.

Here it is. Rest assured I’ve already got another 13,000 words prepared after this, but that’s for your eyes upon release! So, until then you’ll have to make do with…

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Telling twelve year-old Sarah Purton that her father was dead was a shitty part of sheriff Spiller‘s job.

Telling her that he had fired the shots to take down the man who had all but ripped Deputy Chasey’s throat out was something he wanted to omit.

Spiller stood behind his desk, buttoning up a clean navy Hangshaw Police Department shirt over his slowly-growing paunch. The shirt he had been wearing that morning was stained and bloodied and he had thrown it into the trash. It had taken him enough time to clear the blood from his face and hands, and despite his scrubbing he could still see the black-red stains under his nails.

At least it will stop me biting them, he thought, and then shook his head to clear his mind.

Putting his belt back on, he then reloaded his half-empty gun before holstering it. Moving from his desk he stepped towards Charlotte Lewis – his much-younger-than-he secretary.

“Do you have to get changed in full view of everyone?” she asked as she gathered several envelopes and stacked them neatly next to her phone. The grisly events of the morning had been broadcast to her live through the station houses’ two-way radio, but her stern demeanour didn’t seem to change at all. She hated this two-bit town and its inhabitants and it would take more than a minor bloodbath to make her feel sorry for it, even if it was one of her colleagues that was involved.

But Spiller knew better. He had been working with her in Texas for three years now, and he knew that she did care. He knew that she had lived here all her life as had her parents but he could see that Hangshaw was beginning to stifle the life out of her. He also knew that her making barbed remarks at him were her own way of dealing with problems and not allowing events to overcome her.

“’In full view of everyone’?” Spiller repeated quizzically as he looked around the empty room of the small police station.

“The sight of you in your vest offends my view.” she said.

“What’s the problem? Not used to seeing a real man’s body?”

“My boyfriend is the star of the Hangshaw football team,” she said with a raised eyebrow. “I know what a real man’s body looks like.”

Spiller smiled at the comment.

“How is ‘town superstar’, Aaron Drury, these days?” he asked, but Charlotte didn’t seem to hear him.

Instead she sighed as she took off her glasses before tearing off a sheet of fax paper.

“Chasey’s bad.” she reported of Spiller’s deputy.  “Thirty stitches to his face, neck and hands, plus contusions and lacerations, as well as the missing fingers. What the hell did he get hit with?”

Spiller shook his head slowly and looked out of the window, as if the sun pouring through it might cleanse some of the memories.

“Hands and teeth,” he said softly.

Charlotte sat silently still

For her not to react was unusual, but then today was turning out to be an unusual day…

The Book – February Update

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Ok, back in January I announced this years ambition after having achieved most of what i set out to do last year. This year I aim to write a book, or at least get the bulk of it done and start sending it out to publishers and agents.

So far I’ve written 6000 words, or approximately 12 pages. While it doesn’t sound a lot you have to take in account work, kids, vodka, and the massive amount of research I’ve had to do. While hand-writing the first draft I made note-after-note in the margins and on any blank spaces available in my notepad about things I would have to look into when it came to actually writing the story up.

Now that time has come, and the research has been slow, pain-staking, methodical, but necessary. A tale may be made of fiction, but it’s heart lies in reality. Even if it is about zombies and horror it has to have that strong support beam of realness in it or it won’t grab the reader at all.

So, you may remember in another blog that I cried out for help from any lawman in Texas, or indeed, anywhere in America. This proved fruitless as apparently the police in the US won’t contact people outside of the force about police matters. Fair enough, and it would answer why none of the sheriff’s offices I contact replied to me.

Marni Mann

Luckily, a lovely young lady in Florida (and a fellow writer) came to my

Jason Tabrys - viewed actual size

aid in the form of the delectable Marni Mann. She is now officially my ‘American Liaison’, along with my partner-in-crime Jason Tabrys and an honourable mention for Emma Turford and her brother in Texas – all have helped me in my search for details on what police in Texas wear, drive and shoot.

I can tell you that my main character is armed with a Colt .45 M1911 handgun and carries a Remington Model 870 shotgun in his F-150 police wagon. I can tell you the history of these firearms and I have watched videos of them being fired. I have also seen the pictures of the damage they do to people… not particularly pleasing, but necessary nonetheless.

I also know that a sheriff in Texas can wear a Stetson if he wants to, and cowboy boots… as long as they are not covered in diamonds and look pimped. I can even tell you how Stetson’s are made and just how damn good a beaver-hair one looks.

I have studied the drugs and antibiotics needed to treat bite wounds and how infection spreads through a human body.

I have made up a whole town just south-west of Dallas. A little place called Hangshaw that is full of evil and darkness. Three of our main characters start here… although two of them don’t meet during the entire story until the end…

My old college tutor – Phil Truckel – is also currently writing a book, and I might just use his academic skills to give my book a once over when completed.

I’ve managed to cut back on my PS3 time which has allowed me to write a lot more. I still dabble with Black Ops, but now I’m constantly sat at a desk with books and pads littered around me.

I’ve also thrown myself back into the SFF World forums as there are many writers there. In particular is one thread where we all post our progress. It’s very interesting and helps to motivate each other.

The next step towards my English degree has happened as well, as I’ve signed up for the Creative Writing course that started a couple of days ago. So far, it’s very basic, but I knew it would be. Still, anything that will help The Book has got to be good. Plus it’s only the starting course and the main Creative Writing course starts later in the year but this will tide me over til then.

I’ve discovered a guy who’s created the perfect music that I play in the background

Ghosthack

while I write. He’s a German dubstep producer by the name of Ghosthack. I urge you to check him out. I’ve also (playfully) asked him to write the soundtrack to the film of the book if it ever happens!

As you can see, I have been a busy boy of late, so you’ll have to excuse me… as I have even more writing to do… I shall update once a month until it hits the shelves.

I hope…

I Need A Man!

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Actually, I need a lawman.

To be even more specific I could do with a sheriff from Texas.

The reason? The book I’m writing is going well (and I’ll update everyone on it’s progress next week) – and I’ll explain just how much research is getting in the way of writing – but I need more information on my main character; a sheriff in a small town just south-west of Dallas.

I’ve contacted the Sheriff’s Association of Texas but have received no reply, and I’ve had the same problem having contacted some sheriff’s and police departments directly in small towns in various places throughout the state. I understand that these people are very busy and may have no time to reply, but even a quick note to let me know would have been appreciated as I could then move on to the next potential helper!

I need a sheriff/lawman/woman currently in work or retired just so I can ask them some basic questions about procedures, the uniform, arms, techniques, and various other questions I’ll come up with along the way. In return they will receive my eternal thanks as well as acknowledgements in the book and anything else they require!

So, I call upon my blogging, facebook and Twitter brethren, and ask if any of you can help me or know of someone who can help. You can contact me directly at the bottom of this blog, or through Twitter or facebook. I would put my email on this page but the amount of spam I receive almost weekly through this site puts me off doing that.

That’s all from me on this blog; it’s short and sweet as I’ve still got a book to write! I just need a little help filling some of the blanks…

And if someone could get me to Texas to ride in this beast I would gladly do so... in the name of research, of course.

What Jody Did in 2010

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It’s part pure-self-indulgence, and part diary… as since I started drinking less my memory’s started getting worse… and I thought it was supposed to be the other way round!

Below is a list of what I achieved/enjoyed/did during the year of 2010, which has gone down as One Of The Best Years Of My Life(TM). Most of you will have been involved to some degree, some of you will have followed my adventures, and some of you have come here wondering who the hell I am, and those that know me will wonder just how the hell I managed it all! Well, join the club.

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JANUARY

The year started with snow and Gareth “Big Perm” Brown stayed snowed-in at mine for a couple of days. It was also (my youngest son) Bam’s first real snowfall that he could go out

If you can't drop your trousers in front of a strange, hungover German, who can you drop them in front of?

and play in. Work and schools are closed as are most roads.

Started my radio career with Vectis Radio – an online radio station based here on the Isle of Wight – as Bully’s assistant during his afternoon show.

Brighton Tattoo Convention was also our destination at the end of the month where I got a shark tattoo on my thigh by Mark Halbstark -  a tattoo which ends up in Skin Deep magazine later that year!

The Wild Bunch hit The Folly for Richie’s birthday.

MARCH

For my birthday my sister Kay and her husband-to-be, Steve, got me 8 weeks of salsa dancing in revenge for the Des O’Connor tickets I gave her for her birthday the previous year. I take my partner-in-crime – Simon Cope – with me as punishment for him laughing about it. I won’t digress exactly what happened… as all these “birthday presents

Me, Ollie, Perm and Copey.

spiralling out of control” are for a future blog… or book!

My birthday is also shared by Amy Bailey! Who then ups and leaves me to go to Australia… this trend continues through the year as Gareth Brown also goes to the same country and Chris ‘Anal’ Ettritch and Caroline Uncle also head out to the far east.

The Ryde Taxis 16 seater bus I drive got on TV on South Today! I volunteered to sit in it while they filmed… they said no. Face for radio, anyone?

I’m also the bus driver for local band The Dead Perrys for their photo shoot. It ends up in true rock and roll style as we ruin places, pubs and rock out til 4am…

APRIL

I start my own show at Vectis Radio, playing soul and funk. The first show I’m nervous as hell, but soon into my element and start playing tracks that have sampled old songs, so hip hop becomes prevalent. The show morphs and later in the year I move to Tuesday nights

The WIld Bunch

and get free reign and host special shows covering the Wu Tang, the Beastie Boys, DJ Shadow and Cypress Hill. Thanks Macca!

The Wild Bunch hit the Windmill in Bembridge.

I see Mat Carrington for the first time this year after promising us both I’d make more of an effort to get over to see him in Wimbourne. I do well on that promise through the rest of the year.

I join Twitter. It takes me a good month or so to get into it but it is very rewarding and has allowed to me speak to many other writers, sports fans, stars, etc. By the end of the year I will have struck up a friendship with Dan Gold, and spoke to DJ Mistajam, page 3 girl Rosie Jones, porn star Rachael Williams, UK hip-hoppers Foreign Beggars, Brighton stars Rizzle Kicks, and writer Rebecca Woodhead! An honourable mention goes to Marni Mann, a writer awaiting publication who I will be talking to throughout my own process of trying to become a published author. *note to self: ask Marni if I can be the first to interview her once published!* (also, Marni’s blog is on this page under the ‘blogroll’ section)

MAY

The garden outside the flats Copey and I live in gets a big renovation! The grass and wild bushes are cut and a fence is put up by Lee Daniel… thus allowing us to have some big, crazy barbeque’s that run throughout the summer. Strangely, once the grass is cut, I find a

You can't actually see the pain we were in.

pair of Jamaican pants.

I win £400 as Norwich win League One.

The Wild Bunch hit the Folly. Again.

Copey and I Walked The Fucking Wight. All 26 miles of it for charity. It wasn’t my choice but Bully asked us live on air on Vectis Radio, so how could we refuse? My feet hurt afterwards. A lot. Almost as much as I hurt Isle of Wight Radio when I got to the finish line and they asked who I was walking for. I was wearing a Vectis Radio t-shirt and I proclaimed it live on their show!

Went to Wembley with Bully, Frank and his son Danny to watch England play Hungary in a friendly before the Shit World Cup. It wouldn’t be my last visit to Wembley this year.

We roll up at the Bournemouth Tattoo Convention. I don’t have any work done but I do get to meet Dan Gold of London Ink fame!

JUNE

The Wild Bunch hit The Sloop.

Got my picture taken with Kate Moss after driving her back from the Isle of Wight Festival, along with her rocker boyfriend, Jamie Hince – who was a lovely fellow!

But Kate wasn’t a patch on the Bunch’s own H-Bomb – Ms Haley Owen. We rocked up at On The Rocks in Yarmouth for her birthday.

We host a barbeque to end all barbeques for an England World Cup game. It’s still talked about in pubs and clubs across the island. Apparently. Also, it isn’t a patch on the

She was a little starstruck at first.

monster BBQ we hosted the month before, in which we had more people than the pub across the road! Inman also supplies much mirth with his bionic leg…

The Wild Bunch hit Portsmouth for Copey’s birthday. (I do realise that some of you have no idea who the Wild Bunch are, but they are a close group of my friends and will feature in a blog coming soon!)

My bus and I ferried passengers backwards and forwards to a church and reception in nearby St Helens for one of Jimmy Choo’s designers.

The Bunch hit the Alamo for Emily’s birthday.

I start up an email-writing-humour-filled friendship with Mr Jason Tabrys; truly my partner-in-crime. One of us will end up famous. The other will be riding the others coat-tails… but as long as there are big houses and bitches involved, I don’t care who does it.

JULY

I finally take over the gold mondeo I’ve been driving sporadically over the last couple of years. I’ve no real intention of driving it as I need to give my dad some more work as the markets he’s been grafting for years don’t seem to be a viable long term prospect. Plus it’s warmer in the car. Only downside is he’ll probably meet some of my idiot mates… but at least the car is now mine after a long, drawn-out process of trying to buy it. And blowing an engine in it. Twice.

Bam, Jo and I go to the Isle of Wight Zoo which is always good fun. Her brother – Darren (of the NFL blog fame) – works there and feeds the goats with Bam while I look after the monkey. *ahem*

Tommy Harding manages to coax me out of beach football retirement to play a game for

What the fuck were we thinking?

him along with some of my old team as he’s short of players. We lose. I don’t even make it onto the pitch after realising how unfit I am walking to the pitch.

The Ryde Taxis weekly golf tournament starts. Copey and I are very similar in scores throughout the next few weeks. The sessions also allow Frank Allen the following observation:

“Jody’s golf swing is perfect – he actually looks like a pro… until he hits the ball.”

The Wild Bunch hit Weatherspoons. Hard.

Had a five minute chat all about Bam with Hawksbee and Jacobs on their brilliant TalkSport afternoon show. I have intentions for TalkSport but all will be revealed at a later date…

I take Bam to the Thomas Day Out at Havenstreet Steam Railway, a day we always both enjoy. It’s also probably Bam’s favourite place on the island and we’ll be back again a couple of times during the year.

And in July I started blogging.

AUGUST

Take Bam to Space Island and catch up with some old friends in the form of Skeete, Lucy

Lee’s photo of Bam, through a treestump

and Lee Richards and all their kids. Lee takes a photo of Bam which gets reproduced many times by myself and ends up as a Christmas present to my mum. Lee definitely needs to get more involved in photography. And he also qualifies for a blog on his own… not just through his photography but because every time he asks me to come out for a quiet drink, things go veeeeeeeeeeeeery awry.

Went to Brixton Academy with Lindon Plumley and saw the Wu-Tang Clan! Blogged.

Bam and I go to the Chale Show to confront my fear of flying by going up in the helicopter tours they do every year….

…this year they’re not doing them.

It’s my old friend and boss Andy Younies’ 40th birthday at the Oakfield Club House… a truly colourful event!

Andy's 40th

Saw Mat Carrington BA Hons III again!

Gabbi Wickes and her dad, Kev, come down for a week and we end up on a good night out.

Back to Havenstreet with Bam, this time for the Steam Fayre.

The island is besieged during it’s always-brilliant Scooter Rally, and Frank Allen and I are convinced to go down to the King Lud pub wearing our football shirts as we were informed THAT everyone would be doing the same that night. Frank and I are the only ones with football shirts on.

The last barbeque of the year is – as always – a big event, and this time we even have the debut of local island band The Hay Stack Rats!

SEPTEMBER

It’s off to Thorpe Park we go on a day out with Copey, Jo, The Guv’nor (Andy) and others. I worry Bam will be scared of the rides… but he soon puts me straight on that one. We also see Louie Spence, Duncan James, and Tamzin Outhwaite there. As you do.

The Wild Bunch hit Appley Manor for some joint birthdays. It ends up in my garden at 2am doing headstands.

OCTOBER

Most of this month is taken up with Jo and I going on holiday to Canada. I’ve already blogged the hell out of it so go read them.

The Wild Bunch hit Ryde Tandoori.

I hang around with him for his intelligence and humour. Since he sold the car I haven't been over to see him, however.

Saw Mr Carrington again.

Bump into old friends Joz and Jodie on a random night out in Spoons. It’s messy, but fun. Some of the Bunch are in attendance.

Remember the salsa dancing Kay and Steve got me? Well, I make them read The Worst Poem In The World(TM) at the Quay Arts Centre in front of the Island Poetry Society. Again, one day this will be a blog or a book. Or read out at my funeral.

Darren and I go to Wembley for the Annual International NFL Game. Again, blogged.

NOVEMBER

Andy, Bam, myself and loads more kids go to Splashdown in Poole.

Bam.

The island suffers some heavy floods. Bam and I go play in them!

The Ryde Taxi drivers have a Jolly Boys Outing to France and Belgium.

DECEMBER

Snow falls heavy right at the start of the month.

I take Bam, Cameron and Chloe to the Spinnaker Tower in Portsmouth, and a quick trip round Gunwharf.

I manage to get a part as a zombie in The Zombie Diaries 2: World of the Dead thanks to old family friend Liam Kealy! The film is released this coming July (2011) and I will put up the blog about my day of being dead up then.

A man of natural beauty.

The Wild Bunch have their annual Christmas dinner… this time at the Beijing Palace. Nothing like a good old traditional chicken korma for Christmas…

Chris ‘Anal’ Ettritch and I take out Jo’s car with Bam in the snow… and rag the shit out of it. Must admit, it’s a gem in the snow, that little Fiesta!

This is quickly followed by Anal and Caroline’s leaving do, as they are off around the world for four months

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So, that’s my year in summary. Again, self-indulgent and a good way for me to look back in years to come and remember just exactly what the hell I was doing, but it’s fun nonetheless, and it should be a good read if you’re one of my friends or if you simply want to know about me!

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve still got a bloody book to write!